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Дата написания1970-01-01
Язык книгиen
Возрастное ограничение12+
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Страница 2 из 41My bedroom looks very clean, and is roomy and comfortable, and I shall be able to work very happily in it, I'm sure. I can't tell you how much excited I am at getting here and going to study under the great Kloster! You darling one, you beloved mother, stinting yourself, scraping your own life bare, so as to give me this chance. Won't I work. And work. And work. And in a year—no, we won't call it a year, we'll say in a few months—I shall come back to you for good, carrying my sheaves with me. Oh, I hope there will be sheaves,—big ones, beautiful ones, to lay at your blessed feet! Now I'll run down and post this. I saw a letter-box a few yards down the street. And then I'll have a bath and go to bed for a few hours, I think. It is still only nine o'clock in the morning, so I have hours and hours of today before me, and can practise this afternoon and write to you again this evening. So good-bye for a few hours, my precious mother.
May 28th. Evening
It's very funny here, but quite comfortable. You needn't give a thought to my comforts, mother darling. There's a lot to eat, and if I'm not in clover I'm certainly in feathers,—you should see the immense sackful of them in a dark red sateen bag on my bed! As you have been in Germany trying to get poor Dad well in all those Kurorten, you'll understand how queer my bedroom looks, like a very solemn and gloomy drawingroom into which it has suddenly occurred to somebody to put a bed. It is a tall room: tall of ceiling, which is painted at the corners with blue clouds and pink cherubim—unmistakable Germans—and tall of door, of which there are three, and tall of window, of which there are two. The windows have long dark curtains of rep or something woolly, and long coffee-coloured lace curtains as well; and there's a big green majolica stove in one corner; and there's a dark brown wall-paper with gilt flowers on it; and an elaborate chandelier hanging from a coloured plaster rosette in the middle of the ceiling, all twisty and gilt, but it doesn't light,—Wanda, the maid of all work, brings me a petroleum lamp with a green glass shade to it when it gets dusk. I've got a very short bed with a dark red sateen quilt on to which my sheet is buttoned a11 round, a pillow propped up so high on a wedge stuck under the mattress that I shall sleep sitting up almost straight, and then as a crowning glory the sack of feathers, which will do beautifully for holding me down when I'm having a nightmare. In a corner, with an even greater air of being an afterthought than the bed, there's a very tiny washstand, and pinned on the wall behind it over the part of the wallpaper I might splash on Sunday mornings when I'm supposed really to wash, is a strip of grey linen with a motto worked on it in blue wool:
Eigener Heerd Ist Goldes Werth
which is a rhyme if you take it in the proper spirit, and isn't if you don't. But I love the sentiment, don't you? It seems peculiarly sound when one is in a room like this in a strange country. And what I'm here for and am going to work for is an eigener Heerd, with you and me one each side of it warming our happy toes on our very own fender. Oh, won't it be too lovely, mother darling, to be together again in our very own home! Able to shut ourselves in, shut our front door in the face of the world, and just say to the world, "There now."
There's a little looking-glass on a nail up above the eigener Heerd motto, so high that if it hadn't found its match in me I'd only be able to see my eyebrows in it. As it is, I do see as far as my chin. What goes on below that I shall never know while I continue to dwell in the Lutzowstrasse. Outside, a very long way down, for the house has high rooms right through and I'm at the top, trams pass almost constantly along the street, clanging their bells. They sound much more aggressive than other trams I have heard, or else it is because my ears are tired tonight. There are double windows, though, which will shut out the noise while I'm practising—and also shut it in. I mean to practise eight hours every day if Kloster will let me,—twelve if needs be, so I've made up my mind only to write to you on Sundays; for if I don't make a stern rule like that I shall be writing to you every day, and then what would happen to the eight hours? I'm going to start them tomorrow, and try and get as ready as I can for the great man on Saturday. I'm fearfully nervous and afraid, for so much depends on it, and in spite of knowing that somehow from somewhere I've got a kind of gift for fiddling. Heaven knows where that little bit of luck came from, seeing that up to now, though you're such a perfect listener, you haven't developed any particular talent for playing anything, have you mother darling; and poor Dad positively preferred to be in a room where music wasn't. Do you remember how he used to say he couldn't think which end of a violin the noises came out of, and whichever it was he wished they wouldn't? But what a mercy, what a real mercy and solution of our difficulties, that I've got this one thing that perhaps I shall be able to do really well, I do thank God on my knees for this.
There are four other boarders here,—three Germans and one Swede, and the Swede and two of the Germans are women; and five outside people come in for the midday dinner every day, all Germans, and four of them are men. They have what they call Abonnementskarten for their dinners, so much a month. Frau Berg keeps an Open Midday Table—it is written up on a board on the street railing—and charges 1 mark 25 pfennigs a dinner if a month's worth of them is taken, and 1 mark 50 pfennigs if they're taken singly. So everybody takes the month's worth, and it is going to be rather fun, I think. Today I was solemnly presented to the diners, first collectively by Frau Berg as Unser junge englische Gast, Mees—no, I can't write what she made of Cholmondeley, but some day I'll pronounce it for you; and really it is hard on her that her one English guest, who might so easily have been Evans, or Dobbs, or something easy, should have a name that looks a yard long and sounds an inch short—and then each of them to me singly by name. They all made the most beautiful stiff bows. Some of them are students, I gathered; some, I imagine, are staying here because they have no homes,—wash-ups on the shores of life; some are clerks who come in for dinner from their offices near by; and one, the oldest of the men and the most deferred to, is a lawyer called Doctor something. I suppose my being a stranger made them silent, for they were all very silent and stiff, but they'll get used to me quite soon I expect, for didn't you once rebuke me because everybody gets used to me much too soon? Being the newest arrival I sat right at the end of the table in the darkness near the door, and looking along it towards the light it was really impressive, the concentration, the earnestness, the thoroughness, the skill, with which the two rows of guests dealt with things like gravy on their plates,—elusive, mobile things that are not caught without a struggle. Why, if I can manage to apply myself to fiddling with half that skill and patience I shall be back home again in six months!
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I can't tell you how much excited I am at getting here and going to study under the great Kloster! You darling one, you beloved mother, stinting yourself, scraping your own life bare, so as to give me this chance. Won't I work. And work. And work. And in a year—no, we won't call it a year, we'll say in a few months—I shall come back to you for good, carrying my sheaves with me. Oh, I hope there will be sheaves,—big ones, beautiful ones, to lay at your blessed feet! Now I'll run down and post this. I saw a letter-box a few yards down the street. And then I'll have a bath and go to bed for a few hours, I think. It is still only nine o'clock in the morning, so I have hours and hours of today before me, and can practise this afternoon and write to you again this evening. So good-bye for a few hours, my precious mother."},{"id":"content0:22","kind":"paragraph","text":"Your happy Chris."},{"id":"content0:23","kind":"heading","text":"May 28th. Evening"},{"id":"content0:24","kind":"paragraph","text":"It's very funny here, but quite comfortable. You needn't give a thought to my comforts, mother darling. There's a lot to eat, and if I'm not in clover I'm certainly in feathers,—you should see the immense sackful of them in a dark red sateen bag on my bed! As you have been in Germany trying to get poor Dad well in all those Kurorten, you'll understand how queer my bedroom looks, like a very solemn and gloomy drawingroom into which it has suddenly occurred to somebody to put a bed. It is a tall room: tall of ceiling, which is painted at the corners with blue clouds and pink cherubim—unmistakable Germans—and tall of door, of which there are three, and tall of window, of which there are two. The windows have long dark curtains of rep or something woolly, and long coffee-coloured lace curtains as well; and there's a big green majolica stove in one corner; and there's a dark brown wall-paper with gilt flowers on it; and an elaborate chandelier hanging from a coloured plaster rosette in the middle of the ceiling, all twisty and gilt, but it doesn't light,—Wanda, the maid of all work, brings me a petroleum lamp with a green glass shade to it when it gets dusk. I've got a very short bed with a dark red sateen quilt on to which my sheet is buttoned a11 round, a pillow propped up so high on a wedge stuck under the mattress that I shall sleep sitting up almost straight, and then as a crowning glory the sack of feathers, which will do beautifully for holding me down when I'm having a nightmare. In a corner, with an even greater air of being an afterthought than the bed, there's a very tiny washstand, and pinned on the wall behind it over the part of the wallpaper I might splash on Sunday mornings when I'm supposed really to wash, is a strip of grey linen with a motto worked on it in blue wool:"},{"id":"content0:25","kind":"paragraph","text":"Eigener Heerd Ist Goldes Werth"},{"id":"content0:26","kind":"paragraph","text":"which is a rhyme if you take it in the proper spirit, and isn't if you don't. But I love the sentiment, don't you? It seems peculiarly sound when one is in a room like this in a strange country. And what I'm here for and am going to work for is an eigener Heerd, with you and me one each side of it warming our happy toes on our very own fender. Oh, won't it be too lovely, mother darling, to be together again in our very own home! Able to shut ourselves in, shut our front door in the face of the world, and just say to the world, \"There now.\""},{"id":"content0:27","kind":"paragraph","text":"There's a little looking-glass on a nail up above the eigener Heerd motto, so high that if it hadn't found its match in me I'd only be able to see my eyebrows in it. As it is, I do see as far as my chin. What goes on below that I shall never know while I continue to dwell in the Lutzowstrasse. Outside, a very long way down, for the house has high rooms right through and I'm at the top, trams pass almost constantly along the street, clanging their bells. They sound much more aggressive than other trams I have heard, or else it is because my ears are tired tonight. There are double windows, though, which will shut out the noise while I'm practising—and also shut it in. I mean to practise eight hours every day if Kloster will let me,—twelve if needs be, so I've made up my mind only to write to you on Sundays; for if I don't make a stern rule like that I shall be writing to you every day, and then what would happen to the eight hours? I'm going to start them tomorrow, and try and get as ready as I can for the great man on Saturday. I'm fearfully nervous and afraid, for so much depends on it, and in spite of knowing that somehow from somewhere I've got a kind of gift for fiddling. Heaven knows where that little bit of luck came from, seeing that up to now, though you're such a perfect listener, you haven't developed any particular talent for playing anything, have you mother darling; and poor Dad positively preferred to be in a room where music wasn't. Do you remember how he used to say he couldn't think which end of a violin the noises came out of, and whichever it was he wished they wouldn't? But what a mercy, what a real mercy and solution of our difficulties, that I've got this one thing that perhaps I shall be able to do really well, I do thank God on my knees for this."},{"id":"content0:28","kind":"paragraph","text":"There are four other boarders here,—three Germans and one Swede, and the Swede and two of the Germans are women; and five outside people come in for the midday dinner every day, all Germans, and four of them are men. They have what they call Abonnementskarten for their dinners, so much a month. Frau Berg keeps an Open Midday Table—it is written up on a board on the street railing—and charges 1 mark 25 pfennigs a dinner if a month's worth of them is taken, and 1 mark 50 pfennigs if they're taken singly. So everybody takes the month's worth, and it is going to be rather fun, I think. Today I was solemnly presented to the diners, first collectively by Frau Berg as Unser junge englische Gast, Mees—no, I can't write what she made of Cholmondeley, but some day I'll pronounce it for you; and really it is hard on her that her one English guest, who might so easily have been Evans, or Dobbs, or something easy, should have a name that looks a yard long and sounds an inch short—and then each of them to me singly by name. They all made the most beautiful stiff bows. Some of them are students, I gathered; some, I imagine, are staying here because they have no homes,—wash-ups on the shores of life; some are clerks who come in for dinner from their offices near by; and one, the oldest of the men and the most deferred to, is a lawyer called Doctor something. I suppose my being a stranger made them silent, for they were all very silent and stiff, but they'll get used to me quite soon I expect, for didn't you once rebuke me because everybody gets used to me much too soon? Being the newest arrival I sat right at the end of the table in the darkness near the door, and looking along it towards the light it was really impressive, the concentration, the earnestness, the thoroughness, the skill, with which the two rows of guests dealt with things like gravy on their plates,—elusive, mobile things that are not caught without a struggle. Why, if I can manage to apply myself to fiddling with half that skill and patience I shall be back home again in six months!"}],"toc":[{"id":"content0:0:1","label":"Elizabeth Von Arnim Christine","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77#reader-content"},{"id":"content0:7:1","label":"Publishers' Note","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77#reader-content"},{"id":"content0:9:1","label":"Christine","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77#reader-content"},{"id":"content0:10:1","label":"Lutzowstrasse 49, Berlin, Thursday, May 28th, 1914","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77#reader-content"},{"id":"content0:23:2","label":"May 28th. Evening","page":2,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=2#reader-content"},{"id":"content1:0:3","label":"Sunday, May 31st, 1914","page":3,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=3#reader-content"},{"id":"content2:0:5","label":"Berlin, Tuesday, June 2nd, 1914","page":5,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=5#reader-content"},{"id":"content2:5:5","label":"Berlin, Sunday, June 7th, 1914","page":5,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=5#reader-content"},{"id":"content3:0:7","label":"Berlin, Sunday, June 14th, 1914","page":7,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=7#reader-content"},{"id":"content4:0:9","label":"Berlin, Sunday, June 2lst, 1914","page":9,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=9#reader-content"},{"id":"content5:0:11","label":"Berlin, Sunday, June 28th. Evening","page":11,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=11#reader-content"},{"id":"content6:0:14","label":"Berlin, Tuesday, June 30th, 1914","page":14,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=14#reader-content"},{"id":"content6:5:14","label":"Berlin, Sunday, July 5th, 1914","page":14,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=14#reader-content"},{"id":"content7:0:17","label":"Berlin, Wednesday, July 8th, 1914","page":17,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=17#reader-content"},{"id":"content7:11:17","label":"Oberforsterei, Schuppenfelde, July 11th, 1914","page":17,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=17#reader-content"},{"id":"content8:0:19","label":"Schuppenfelde, Monday, July 13th","page":19,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=19#reader-content"},{"id":"content9:0:22","label":"Schuppenfelde, Thursday, July 16, 1914","page":22,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=22#reader-content"},{"id":"content9:6:22","label":"Schuppenfelde, Friday, July 17,1914","page":22,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=22#reader-content"},{"id":"content10:0:23","label":"Koseritz, Saturday evening, July 18, 1914","page":23,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=23#reader-content"},{"id":"content10:17:24","label":"Koseritz, Sunday evening, July 19, 1914","page":24,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=24#reader-content"},{"id":"content11:0:25","label":"Koseritz, Monday, July 20","page":25,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=25#reader-content"},{"id":"content11:4:25","label":"Koseritz, Thursday, July 23","page":25,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=25#reader-content"},{"id":"content12:0:27","label":"Koseritz, Friday, July 25th, 1914","page":27,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=27#reader-content"},{"id":"content12:13:28","label":"Koseritz, Saturday, July 25th, 1914","page":28,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=28#reader-content"},{"id":"content13:0:29","label":"Koseritz, Sunday evening, July 26th","page":29,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=29#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:0:30","label":"Berlin, Wednesday, July 29th","page":30,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=30#reader-content"},{"id":"content15:0:32","label":"Berlin, Friday afternoon, July 31st","page":32,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=32#reader-content"},{"id":"content16:0:33","label":"Before Breakfast. Berlin, Sat., Aug. 1st, 1914","page":33,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=33#reader-content"},{"id":"content17:0:36","label":"Berlin, Sunday, August 2nd, 1914","page":36,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=36#reader-content"},{"id":"content18:0:38","label":"Berlin, Monday, August 3rd, 1914","page":38,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=38#reader-content"},{"id":"content18:4:38","label":"Berlin, Monday August 3rd, evening","page":38,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=38#reader-content"},{"id":"content18:9:38","label":"Berlin, Tuesday, August 4th, 1914","page":38,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=38#reader-content"},{"id":"content18:22:39","label":"At Frau Berg's, August 4th, 1914, very late","page":39,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=39#reader-content"},{"id":"content19:0:40","label":"Halle, Wednesday night, August 5th, 1914","page":40,"pageUrl":"/books/1EZh3M77?page=40#reader-content"},{"id":"content19:7:41","label":"Wursburg, Thursday, August 6th, 1914, 4 p. 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