Рассказ лектора

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В ДЕРЗАНЬЕ — ЦЕЛЬ"},{"id":"id2239:4","kind":"paragraph","text":"1. КАНУН ДНЯ ВСЕХ СВЯТЫХ"},{"id":"id2239:5","kind":"paragraph","text":"2. CURRICULUM VITAE[8]"},{"id":"id2239:6","kind":"paragraph","text":"3. ПРОКЛЯТИЕ ФУ МАНЧУ[43]"},{"id":"id2239:7","kind":"paragraph","text":"4. НЕЛЬСОН СПУСКАЕТСЯ В АД"},{"id":"id2239:8","kind":"paragraph","text":"5. ОБЕДЕННЫЙ СЕМИНАР"},{"id":"id2239:9","kind":"paragraph","text":"6. ПРОФЕССОР ВЕЙССМАН ОБЪЯСНЯЕТ"},{"id":"id2239:10","kind":"paragraph","text":"7. ВХОДИТ УБИЙЦА"},{"id":"id2239:11","kind":"paragraph","text":"8. НЕЛЬСОН В НОЧНОМ ГОРОДЕ[96]"},{"id":"id2239:12","kind":"paragraph","text":"9. НА СЛЕДУЮЩЕЕ УТРО"},{"id":"id2239:13","kind":"paragraph","text":"Часть вторая. ТАНЦЫ НА КАНАТЕ"},{"id":"id2239:14","kind":"paragraph","text":"10. ИСТОРИЯ О"},{"id":"id2239:15","kind":"paragraph","text":"11. НАДЗОР И НАКАЗАНИЕ"},{"id":"id2239:16","kind":"paragraph","text":"12. ТРИО КЛОУНОВ"},{"id":"id2239:17","kind":"paragraph","text":"13. L'ARRКT DE MORT[146]"},{"id":"id2239:18","kind":"paragraph","text":"14. СЕКРЕТ ВИКТОРИИ"},{"id":"id2239:19","kind":"paragraph","text":"15. CURRICULUM VITA"},{"id":"id2239:20","kind":"paragraph","text":"16. РЕЗНЯ В НОЧЬ СВЯТОГО ВАЛЕНТИНА"},{"id":"id2239:21","kind":"paragraph","text":"Часть третья. ПЫЛАЮЩИЙ МИР"},{"id":"id2239:22","kind":"paragraph","text":"17. БЫТЬ ВЛАДЫКОЙ АДА"},{"id":"id2239:23","kind":"paragraph","text":"18. LA VITA NUOVA[173]"},{"id":"id2239:24","kind":"paragraph","text":"19. ГЛАВА ПЕРВАЯ"},{"id":"id2239:25","kind":"paragraph","text":"Авторское отречение[213], в котором сочинитель расстается с 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Хайнс Рассказ лектора"},{"id":"id2238:1","kind":"heading","text":"James Hynes ТНЕ LECTURER'S TALE"},{"id":"id2238:2","kind":"heading","text":"Печатается с разрешения автора и его литературных агентов Donadio amp; Olson, Inc. с/о Toymania LLC."},{"id":"id2238:3","kind":"paragraph","text":"Глендону Хайнсу,"},{"id":"id2238:4","kind":"paragraph","text":"моему первому и лучшему учителю:"},{"id":"id2238:5","kind":"paragraph","text":"…хотел учиться и других учить[1]."},{"id":"id2238:6","kind":"paragraph","text":"Что ведаю о происках нечистого духа, коий направляет сынов непослушания во все дни их жизни? Едва заприметит он гордого книжника, возомнившего себя избранником Божьим, что читает и молится, покуда самые совы не выучат его преамбул, лукавый сей же час решает его уловить. Нет ему покоя в аду, ежели видит он такого человека или людей, и редко бывает, чтобы, взявшись за труд, не совратил он их с пути какой-нибудь своей хитростью. И ликует же тогда черт, возвращаясь домой с грузом усердных книжников на спине.[ 2]"},{"id":"id2238:7","kind":"paragraph","text":"Джеймс Хогг, «Исповедь оправданного грешника»"},{"id":"id2238:8","kind":"paragraph","text":"О страшный грех! О бездна преступленья!"},{"id":"id2238:9","kind":"paragraph","text":"О мерзостное братоистребленье!"},{"id":"id2238:10","kind":"paragraph","text":"О блуд, кутеж: и грех чревоугодья!"},{"id":"id2238:11","kind":"paragraph","text":"О богохульное сие отродье,"},{"id":"id2238:12","kind":"paragraph","text":"Что Божье Имя клятвой оскорбляет."},{"id":"id2238:13","kind":"paragraph","text":"Неблагодарные, что забывают,"},{"id":"id2238:14","kind":"paragraph","text":"С каким смирением, с какой любовью"},{"id":"id2238:15","kind":"paragraph","text":"Грех искупил Христос Своею кровью."},{"id":"id2238:16","kind":"paragraph","text":"Чосер, «Рассказ продавца индульгенций»"},{"id":"id2237:0","kind":"heading","text":"Часть первая. В ДЕРЗАНЬЕ — ЦЕЛЬ"},{"id":"id2237:1","kind":"paragraph","text":"Ах, но в дерзанье — цель, не то"},{"id":"id2237:2","kind":"paragraph","text":"На что и небо?[ 3]"},{"id":"id2237:3","kind":"paragraph","text":"Роберт Браунинг, «Андреа дель Сарто»"},{"id":"id2236:0","kind":"heading","text":"1. КАНУН ДНЯ ВСЕХ СВЯТЫХ"},{"id":"id2236:1","kind":"paragraph","text":"В пятницу на Хэллоуин, когда часы на библиотечной башне вызванивали тринадцать под рваным пасмурным небом, Нельсон Гумбольдт по нелепой случайности потерял указательный палец правой руки. Он шел через площадь, когда его трижды окликнули из дневной студенческой толчеи. Нельсон обернулся, налетел на склонившуюся к мостовой девушку, взмахнул рукой, пытаясь удержать равновесие, и ему отсекло палец спицами проезжающего велосипеда."},{"id":"id2236:2","kind":"paragraph","text":"Чуть раньше, в темном кабинете заведующей базовым отделением факультета английской литературы Виктории Викторинис Нельсон потерял место внештатного лектора-почасовика. Он, стиснув руками колени, сидел на противоположном конце безжалостно-прямоугольного стола, пока профессор Викторинис с холодной вежливостью уведомляла, что в связи с финансовыми затруднениями факультет не сможет продлить его контракт в конце семестра, то есть всего через шесть недель."},{"id":"id2236:3","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Разумеется, — сказала она, складывая руки на груди в мертвенно-голубом свете настольной лампы, — мы признательны за все, что вы сделали для факультета."},{"id":"id2236:4","kind":"paragraph","text":"Отстраненная вежливость не могла скрыть вялого равнодушия этой миниатюрной, коротко стриженной седой женщины. Даже днем жалюзи в ее кабинете были опущены, и сейчас она сидела в тени позади слепящей, направленной на собеседника лампы. Электрический свет, отражаясь от стола, подчеркивал острые скулы, глубокую складку между бровей, тонкие бескровные губы и выпуклость обтянутого кожей лба. Взгляд ее, обращенный на Нельсона, казался ему надменным и скучающим, как у древнего сфинкса."},{"id":"id2236:5","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Я понимаю, — добавила она, — что в сложившихся обстоятельствах вас мало волнует наша признательность."},{"id":"id2236:6","kind":"paragraph","text":"Нельсон сглотнул, силясь не разрыдаться. Он смотрел куда угодно, только не на нее, — на серые стены, на ровные ряды книг в стеклянных шкафах, на гравюру в серебряной рамке, изображающую княгиню Батори в ванне из свежей крови[4]. Очень мило со стороны профессора Викторинис смотреть в глаза, сообщая об увольнении, но не могла бы она хоть на секунду отвести взгляд!"},{"id":"id2236:7","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Я… я… очень сожалею. — Нельсон прочистил горло. — Не беспокойтесь из-за меня."},{"id":"id2236:8","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Я с удовольствием напишу вам характеристику. — Викторинис начала поправлять и без того аккуратно разложенные бумаги и ручки на столе. — Мы сделаем для вас все, что в наших силах, Нельсон."},{"id":"id2236:9","kind":"paragraph","text":"Викторию Викторинис еще меньше, чем других старших преподавателей, трогали страдания несчастного лектора. За двадцать четыре года остракизма по причине не вполне обычных сексуальных пристрастий она пережила слепую ненависть ректоров, деканов и старших коллег, чтобы в конце концов закрепиться на штатной должности в престижном исследовательском университете. Что еще более удивительно, она пережила три или четыре коренных перелома в литературоведении, и все ее книги, от первой — «Ритм и метонимия в „Кристабели“ Кольриджа», до последней — «Дщери ночи: клиторальная гегемония в „Кармилле“ Лефану[5]», по-прежнему переиздавались. В научном мире это почти равнялось бессмертию, и сейчас Нельсон ясно читал в холодном взгляде профессора Викторинис, что за четверть века перед ней прошли десятки, если не сотни таких вот молодых неудачников."},{"id":"id2236:10","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Спасибо, — промямлил он, запинаясь, — спасибо, что дали мне тут столько проработать."},{"id":"id2236:11","kind":"paragraph","text":"У него сорвался голос. Больше всего ему хотелось оказаться у себя и дать волю слезам. Может быть, Вита Деон-не, его соседка по кабинету и последняя, кто еще с ним разговаривает, отвлечется от своих мнимых профессиональных страхов и посочувствует. Надо взять себя в руки, прежде чем выходить на людную площадь."},{"id":"id2236:12","kind":"paragraph","text":"— Не беспокойтесь из-за меня, — повторил он, вставая. — Всего доброго."},{"id":"id2236:13","kind":"paragraph","text":"Профессор Викторинис тоже встала, и Нельсон нагнулся, чтобы поднять старенький дерматиновый портфель со студенческими работами. Он выпрямился и снова поймал на себе неумолимо-бесстрастный взгляд профессора Викторинис. Нельсон попятился, прижимая портфель к груди. Он был очень высок, гораздо выше большинства студентов, и заведующая базовым отделением казалось рядом с ним совсем крошечной. Однако когда профессор Викторинис протянула руку, Нельсон почувствовал, что доходит ей только до колен и смотрит снизу вверх, как беззащитный ребенок. Тем не менее он коснулся сухой холодной ладони. О пожатии не могло быть и речи; Нельсон давно усвоил, что крепко, «по-мужски», как выразился бы его отец, стискивать руку в научном мире не принято. Здесь обходились легким касанием, лишенным всяких гендерных характеристик."}],"toc":[{"id":"id2239:0:1","label":"Annotation","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2238:0:1","label":"Джеймс Хайнс Рассказ лектора","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2238:1:1","label":"James Hynes ТНЕ LECTURER'S TALE","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2238:2:1","label":"Печатается с разрешения автора и его литературных агентов Donadio amp; Olson, Inc. с/о Toymania LLC.","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2237:0:1","label":"Часть первая. В ДЕРЗАНЬЕ — ЦЕЛЬ","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2236:0:1","label":"1. КАНУН ДНЯ ВСЕХ СВЯТЫХ","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw#reader-content"},{"id":"id2235:0:5","label":"2. CURRICULUM VITAE[8]","page":5,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=5#reader-content"},{"id":"id2234:0:10","label":"3. ПРОКЛЯТИЕ ФУ МАНЧУ[43]","page":10,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=10#reader-content"},{"id":"id2233:0:17","label":"4. НЕЛЬСОН СПУСКАЕТСЯ В АД","page":17,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=17#reader-content"},{"id":"id2232:0:22","label":"5. ОБЕДЕННЫЙ СЕМИНАР","page":22,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=22#reader-content"},{"id":"id2231:0:29","label":"6. ПРОФЕССОР ВЕЙССМАН ОБЪЯСНЯЕТ","page":29,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=29#reader-content"},{"id":"id2230:0:36","label":"7. ВХОДИТ УБИЙЦА","page":36,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=36#reader-content"},{"id":"id2229:0:41","label":"8. НЕЛЬСОН В НОЧНОМ ГОРОДЕ[96]","page":41,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=41#reader-content"},{"id":"id2228:0:44","label":"9. НА СЛЕДУЮЩЕЕ УТРО","page":44,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=44#reader-content"},{"id":"id2227:0:46","label":"Часть вторая. ТАНЦЫ НА КАНАТЕ","page":46,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=46#reader-content"},{"id":"id2226:0:46","label":"10. ИСТОРИЯ О","page":46,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=46#reader-content"},{"id":"id2226:119:50","label":"***","page":50,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=50#reader-content"},{"id":"id2225:0:52","label":"11. НАДЗОР И НАКАЗАНИЕ","page":52,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=52#reader-content"},{"id":"id2224:0:57","label":"12. ТРИО КЛОУНОВ","page":57,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=57#reader-content"},{"id":"id2224:70:60","label":"***","page":60,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=60#reader-content"},{"id":"id2224:155:63","label":"***","page":63,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=63#reader-content"},{"id":"id2224:288:66","label":"***","page":66,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=66#reader-content"},{"id":"id2223:0:67","label":"13. L'ARRКT DE MORT[146]","page":67,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=67#reader-content"},{"id":"id2223:288:74","label":"* * *","page":74,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=74#reader-content"},{"id":"id2222:0:75","label":"14. СЕКРЕТ ВИКТОРИИ","page":75,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=75#reader-content"},{"id":"id2221:0:81","label":"15. CURRICULUM VITA","page":81,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=81#reader-content"},{"id":"id2220:0:83","label":"16. РЕЗНЯ В НОЧЬ СВЯТОГО ВАЛЕНТИНА","page":83,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=83#reader-content"},{"id":"id2219:0:90","label":"Часть третья. ПЫЛАЮЩИЙ МИР","page":90,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=90#reader-content"},{"id":"id2218:0:90","label":"17. БЫТЬ ВЛАДЫКОЙ АДА","page":90,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=90#reader-content"},{"id":"id2217:0:95","label":"18. LA VITA NUOVA[173]","page":95,"pageUrl":"/books/2yUlG1Lw?page=95#reader-content"},{"id":"id2216:0:103","label":"19. 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