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Ballad: The Fairy Queen's Song

Oh, foolish fay, Think you because Man's brave array My bosom thaws I'd disobey Our fairy laws? Because I fly In realms above, In tendency To fall in love Resemble I The amorous dove? Oh, amorous dove! Type of Ovidius Naso! This heart of mine Is soft as thine, Although I dare not say so! On fire that glows With heat intense I turn the hose Of Common Sense, And out it goes At small expense! We must maintain Our fairy law; That is the main On which to draw - In that we gain A Captain Shaw. Oh, Captain Shaw! Type of true love kept under! Could thy Brigade With cold cascade Quench my great love, I wonder!

Ballad: Is Life A Boon

Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon. Though fourscore years he give Yet one would pray to live Another moon! What kind of plaint have I, Who perish in July? I might have had to die Perchance in June! Is life a thorn? Then count it not a whit! Man is well done with it; Soon as he's born He should all means essay To put the plague away; And I, war-worn, Poor captured fugitive, My life most gladly give - I might have had to live Another morn!

Ballad: The Modern Major-General

I am the very pattern of a modern Major-Gineral, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral; I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical; About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, With interesting facts about the square of the hypotenuse, I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral. I know our mythic history – KING ARTHUR'S and SIR CARADOC'S, I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox; I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of HELIOGABALUS, In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous. I tell undoubted RAPHAELS from GERARD DOWS and ZOFFANIES, I know the croaking chorus from the "Frogs" of ARISTOPHANES; Then I can hum a fugue, of which I've heard the music's din afore, And whistle all the airs from that confounded nonsense "Pinafore." Then I can write a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform, And tell you every detail of CARACTACUS'S uniform. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral. In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin," When I can tell at sight a Chassepot rifle from a javelin, When such affairs as SORTIES and surprises I'm more wary at, And when I know precisely what is meant by Commissariat, When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery, In short, when I've a smattering of elementary strategy, You'll say a better Major-GenerAL has never SAT a gee - For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century. But still in learning vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-Gineral!

Ballad: The Heavy Dragoon

If you want a receipt for that popular mystery, Known to the world as a Heavy Dragoon, Take all the remarkable people in history, Rattle them off to a popular tune! The pluck of LORD NELSON on board of the VICTORY - Genius of BISMARCK devising a plan; The humour of FIELDING (which sounds contradictory) - Coolness of PAGET about to trepan - The grace of MOZART, that unparalleled musico - Wit of MACAULAY, who wrote of QUEEN ANNE - The pathos of PADDY, as rendered by BOUCICAULT - Style of the BISHOP OF SODOR AND MAN - The dash of a D'ORSAY, divested of quackery - Narrative powers of DICKENS and THACKERAY - VICTOR EMMANUEL – peak-haunting PEVERIL - THOMAS AQUINAS, and DOCTOR SACHEVERELL - TUPPER and TENNYSON – DANIEL DEFOE - ANTHONY TROLLOPE and MISTER GUIZOT! Take of these elements all that is fusible, Melt 'em all down in a pipkin or crucible, Set 'em to simmer and take off the scum, And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum! If you want a receipt for this soldierlike paragon, Get at the wealth of the CZAR (if you can) - The family pride of a Spaniard from Arragon - Force of MEPHISTO pronouncing a ban - A smack of LORD WATERFORD, reckless and rollicky - Swagger of RODERICK, heading his clan - The keen penetration of PADDINGTON POLLAKY - Grace of an Odalisque on a divan - The genius strategic of CAESAR or HANNIBAL - Skill of LORD WOLSELEY in thrashing a cannibal - Flavour of HAMLET – the STRANGER, a touch of him - Little of MANFRED (but not very much of him) - Beadle of Burlington – RICHARDSON'S show - MR. MICAWBER and MADAME TUSSAUD! Take of these elements all that is fusible - Melt 'em all down in a pipkin or crucible - Set 'em to simmer and take off the scum, And a Heavy Dragoon is the residuum!

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