A tutor who tooted the flute Tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, “Is it harder to toot, or To tutor two tooters to toot?”

A Serious Question

A kitten went a-walking One morning in July, And idly fell a-talking With a great big butterfly. The kitten’s tone was airy, The butterfly would scoff; When there came along a fairy Who whisked his wings right off. And then—for it is written Fairies can do such things— Upon the startled kitten She stuck the yellow wings.

The kitten felt a quiver, She rose into the air, Then flew down to the river To view her image there. With fear her heart was smitten, And she began to cry, “Am I a butter-kitten? Or just a kitten-fly?”

Two Old Kings

Oh! the King of Kanoodledum And the King of Kanoodledee, They went to sea In a jigamaree— A full-rigged jigamaree. And one king couldn’t steer, And the other, no more could he; So they both upset And they both got wet, As wet as wet could be.

And one king couldn’t swim And the other, he couldn’t, too; So they had to float, While their empty boat Danced away o’er the sea so blue. Then the King of Kanoodledum He turned a trifle pale, And so did he Of Kanoodledee, But they saw a passing sail! And one king screamed like fun And the other king screeched like mad, And a boat was lowered And took them aboard; And, my! but those kings were glad!

A Day Dream

Polly’s patchwork—oh, dear me!— Truly is a sight to see. Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed— Will the quilt be ever made? See the stitches yawning wide— Can it be that Polly tried? Some are right and some are wrong, Some too short and some too long, Some too loose and some too tight; Grimy smudges on the white, And a tiny spot of red, Where poor Polly’s finger bled. Strange such pretty, dainty blocks— Bits of Polly’s summer frocks— Should have proved so hard to sew, And the cause of so much woe! One day it was very hot, And the thread got in a knot, Drew the seam up in a heap— Polly calmly fell asleep. Then she had a lovely dream; Straight and even was the seam, Pure and spotless was the white; All the blocks were finished quite— Each joined to another one. Lo, behold! the quilt was done,— Lined and quilted,—and it seemed To cover Polly as she dreamed!

Our Club

We’re going to have the mostest fun! It’s going to be a club; And no one can belong to it But Dot and me and Bub.

We thought we’d have a Reading Club, But couldn’t ’cause, you see, Not one of us knows how to read— Not Dot nor Bub nor me. And then we said a Sewing Club, But thought we’d better not; ’Cause none of us knows how to sew— Not me nor Bub nor Dot. And so it’s just a Playing Club, We play till time for tea; And, oh, we have the bestest times! Just Dot and Bub and me.

Puzzled

There lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-man, Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann. He’d written treatises and themes till, “For a change,” he said, “I think I’ll write a children’s book before I go to bed.”

He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in Greek; Consulted cyclopædias and manuscripts antique, Essays in Anthropology, studies in counterpoise— “For these,” he said, “are useful lore for little girls and boys.” He scribbled hard, and scribbled fast, he burned the midnight oil, And when he reached “The End” he felt rewarded for his toil; He said, “This charming Children’s Book is greatly to my credit.” And now he’s sorely puzzled that no child has ever read it.

An Intercepted Valentine

Little Bo-Peep, will you be mine? I want you for my Valentine. You are my choice of all the girls, With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls, With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat, None other is so fair and sweet. Little Bo-Peep, let’s run away, And marry each other on Midsummer Day; And ever to you I’ll be fond and true,

Your faithful Valentine,

Little Boy Blue.

A Long-Felt Want

One day wee Willie and his dog Sprawled on the nursery floor. He had a florist’s catalogue, And turned the pages o’er, Till all at once he gave a spring, “Hurrah!” he cried with joy; “Mamma, here’s just the very thing To give your little boy! “For when we fellows go to school, We lose our things, you know; And in that little vestibule They do get mixed up so. “And as you often say you can’t Take care of ’em for me, Why don’t you buy a rubber plant, And an umbrella tree?”

The Musical Carp

There once was a corpulent carp Who wanted to play on a harp, But to his chagrin So short was his fin That he couldn’t reach up to C sharp.

The Intelligent Hen

’Twas long ago,—a year or so,— In a barnyard by the sea, That an old hen lived whom you may know By the name of Fiddle-de-dee. She scratched around in the sand all day, For a lively old hen was she. And then do you know, it happened this way In that barnyard by the sea; A great wise owl came down one day, And hooted at Fiddle-de-dee, Just hooted at Fiddle-de-dee. And he cried, “Hi! Hi! old hen, I say! You’re provincial, it seems to me!” “Why, what do you mean?” cried the old red hen, As mad as hops was she. “Oh, I’ve been ’round among great men, In the world where the great men be. And none of them scratch with their claws like you, They write with a quill like me.” Now very few people could get ahead Of that old hen, Fiddle-de-dee. She went and hunted the posy-bed, And returned in triumphant glee. And ever since then, that little red hen, She writes with a jonquil pen, quil pen, She writes with a jonquil pen.

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The Jingle Book

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