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Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: Rip van

Автор Charles Burke

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Дата написания1970-01-01

Язык книгиen

Возрастное ограничение0+

Жанры

зарубежная драматургия зарубежная классика зарубежная старинная литература

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The Villagers exit

Knickerbocker.

Run, Alice, run!

[Alice, Lorrenna and Knickerbocker run to right

Dame.

[Without.] Alice!

[Alice, Lorenna and Knickerbocker exeunt hastily

Rory.

Egad! the dame's tongue is a perfect scarecrow!

Vedder.

The sound of her voice sets them running just as if she were one of the mountain spirits, of whom we hear so much talk. [But where the deuce can Rip be all this while? [Rip sings without.] But talk of the devil and his imps appear.] 2

Enter Rip Van Winkle, with gun, game-bag, &c

Rip.

Rip, Rip, wass is dis for a business. You are a mix nootze unt dat is a fact. Now, I started for de mountains dis mornin', determined to fill my bag mit game, but I met Von Brunt, de one-eyed sergeant—[comma see hah, unt brandy-wine hapben my neiber friend];3 well, I couldn't refuse to take a glass mit him, unt den I tooks anoder glass, unt den I took so much as a dozen, [do]4 I drink no more as a bottle; he drink no more as I—he got so top heavy, I rolled him in de hedge to sleep a leetle, for his one eye got so crooked, he never could have seed his way straight; den I goes to de mountain, [do]5 I see double, [d–d]6 a bird could I shooted. But I stops now, I drinks no more; if anybody ask me to drink, I'll say to dem—[Vedder comes down, and offers cup to him.]—here is your [go-to-hell],7 and your family's [go-to-hell], and may you all live long and [prosper].8 [Drinks.

Vedder.

Why, neighbour Rip, where have you been all day? We feared some of the [Elfin]9 goblins of the Catskill had caught you.

Rip.

Ha, ha! I never see no ghosts, though I've fought mit spirits in my time, ha, ha!

Vedder.

And they always throw you, eh? ha, ha!

Rip.

Dat's a fact! Ha, ha, ha!

Vedder.

But, Rip, where have you been?

Rip.

Oh, very hard at work10—very busy; dere is nothing slipped [fun my fingers as was come at abe.] 11

Rory.

They appear to have slipped through your game bag though, for it's full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!

Rip.

Ho, ho, ho! cut no jokes at my bag or I'll gib you de sack.

Vedder.

Come, Rip, sit down, take a pipe and a glass and make yourself comfortable.

Rip.

[Nine, nine—ech con neiched—]12 it behoves a man to look after his interest unt not drink all de while, I shall den be able to manage—

Vedder.

Your wife, Rip?

Rip.

Manage mine [frow]13? Can you fly to de moon on a [paper]14 kite? Can you drink all de beer and brandy-wine at one gulp? when you can do dat, mine goot [im himmel]15 you can manage mine [frow]. [All laugh.16

Rory.

Take one glass, Rip.17

Rip.

No, I won't touch him.

Vedder.

Come, come, lay hold.

Rip.

Now I'll be [d–d fun]18 I does.

Vedder.

Well, if you won't. [All go to table but Rip.

Rip.

Dere is [a]19 drinks, dere is [a] drinks; I have [conquered]20 temptation at last. Bravo resolution! bravo resolution; resolution, you shall have one glass for dat.21 [Goes to table.

Omnes.

Ha, ha, ha!

Rory.

Here, Rip, here's a glass at your service, and as for the contents I'll warrant it genuine and no mistake. [Gives Rip a cup.

Rip.

Rory, here is your [go-to-hell],22 unt your family's [go-to-hell], un may you all live long unt [prosper].23

Rory.

Come, Rip, give us a stave.

Vedder.

Yes, yes, Rip, a stave, for the old dame will be after you soon and then we will all have to make a clearance.

Rip.

Oh, tunner wasser! [won't]24 my old woman skin me when I get home.

Vedder and Rory.

Ha, ha, ha! come, the song, the song.

Rip.

Well, here is Rip Van Winkle's warning to all single fellows.

SONG.—Rip

List, my friends, to caution's voice, Ere de marriage knot you tie; It is [the devil],25 mit shrews to splice, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny. Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c. When a wife to rule once wishes, Mit poor spouse 'tis all my eye, I'm [d–d]26 if she don't wear de breeches, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny. Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c. Yet dere is a charm about dem, Do dere voices are so high We can't do mit'em, [Pause. Nor we can't do mit-out 'em, Dat nobody can deny, deny, Dat nobody can deny. Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c.27

Dame.

[Without.] Rip, Rip! I'll stretch your ears when I get hold of them.

Rip.

[Mine goot im himmel],28 dere is my frow.

Dame.

[Without.] Rip! you lazy varmint! Rip!

Rip.

[Gets under the table with bottle.] Look out, boys! de wild cat's coming.

Music.—Vedder, Rory and Clausen, at table.—Enter Dame, with a stick.

Dame.

Where is this wicked husband of mine! odds bodikins and pins! I heard his voice; you've hid him somewhere! you ought to be ashamed of yourselves to inveigle a husband from a tender, loving spouse; but I'm put upon by all, because they know the mildness of my temper.—[They laugh.]—Odds bodikins and curling irons, but some of you shall laugh the other sides of your mouths—I'll pull your pates for you.29

Music.—Chases them round table; they exit.—Dame upsets table and discovers Rip.

Dame.

Oh, you Rip of all rips! what have you to say for yourself?

Rip.

Here is your [go-to-hell],30 unt your family's, unt may you all live long and [prosper].

Dame.

[Pulling him down the stage by the ear.] I'm cool—that is to say not very hot: but the mildest temper in the world would be in a passion at such treatment. Get home, you drunken monster, or I sha'n't be able to keep my hands off you. Tell me, sir, what have you been about all day?

Rip.

Hard at work, my dumpsy dumpsy; de first ting I see dis morning was a fine fat rabbit.

Dame.

A rabbit? Oh, I do like rabbits in a stew; I like everything in a stew.

Rip.

I be [d–d]31 but dat is a fact.

Dame.

Well, well, the rabbit?

Rip.

I was going to tell you, well, dere was de rabbit feeding in de grass.

Dame.

Well, well, Rip?

Rip.

I [puts]32 my gun to my shoulder—

Dame.

Yes,—

Rip.

I takes goot aim mit him.

Dame.

Yes,—

Rip.

I [pulls]33 my trigger, unt—

Dame.

Bang went the gun and down the rabbit fell.

Rip.

Eh? snap went [de]34 gun and off de rabbit run. Ha, ha, ha!

Dame.

No!

Rip.

I be [d–d fun]35 dat is a fact.

Dame.

And you shot nothing?

Rip.

Not dat time; but de next time, I picks me my flint, unt I [creeps]36 up to de little [pond]37 by de old field, unt dere—what do you [tink]38 I see?

Dame.

Ducks?

Rip.

More as fifty black ducks—ducks as big as [a goose]39—well, I hauls up again.

Dame.

And so will I [Raising stick.] if you miss fire this time.

Rip.

Bang!

Dame.

How many down?

Rip.

[One!] 40

Dame.

Not more than one duck out of fifty?

Rip.

Yes, a great deal more as [one] duck.

Dame.

Then you shot more than one?

Rip.

Yes, more as one duck,—I shot one old bull.

Dame.

What?

Rip.

I'm [d–d fun] dat is a fact! dat was one down, and [my goot im himmel]41 how he did roar and bellow, unt lash his tail, unt snort and sneeze, unt sniff! Well, de bull puts right after me, unt I puts right away fun de bull: well, de bull comes up mit me just as I was climbing de fence, unt he catch me mit his horns fun de [seat]42 of my breeches, unt sent me flying more as a mile high.—Well, by-and-bye directly, I come down aready in a big tree, unt dere I sticks fast, unt den—

Dame.

You went fast asleep for the rest of the day.

Rip.

Dat's a fact. How43 you know dat? you must be a witch.

Dame.

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