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Representative Plays by American Dramatists: 1856-1911: Rip van

Автор Charles Burke

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Дата написания1970-01-01

Язык книгиen

Возрастное ограничение0+

Жанры

зарубежная драматургия зарубежная классика зарубежная старинная литература

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[Kneeling

Dame.

[Without.] Go along, you drunken brute.

Knickerbocker.

The devil! 'tis Dame Van Winkle! [what's to become of me?

Alice.

If you're found here I'm ruined! you must conceal yourself—but where?

Knickerbocker.

That's the important question; oh,]52 I'll hop into the cupboard.

Alice.

Not for the world! she is sure to want something out of it. Here, here, get into this clothes-basket, and let me cover you over with the foul linen.

Knickerbocker.

It's a very foul piece of business altogether but I must stomach it whether I will or no.

Music.—She puts him into the basket and covers him with linen.

Dame enters, dragging in Rip

Dame.

And now, sir, I've got you home, what have you to say for yourself, I should like to know?

Rip.

Nothing, [my]53 darling, de least said is soonest mended, and so you shall have all de talk to yourself.—Now ain't dat liberal?

Dame.

Where's all the game you were to bring home?

Rip.

On de wing still: wouldn't venture to come mitin fire; for though dey missed mine gun, dere's one ting for certain, I never miss your blowing up.

Dame.

My blowing up! Odds bodikins and pins! I shall never be able to contain myself! Where's the money to pay the rent, you oaf?

Rip.

I don't know.—Do you?

Dame.

You'll go to prison, and that'll be the end on't.

Rip.

Come, no more quarrelling to-night. [We'll]54 see about de rent money to-morrow morning.

Dame.

To-morrow! it's always to-morrow with you. So, Alice, you are sitting and idling as usual, just like your brother, a precious pair of soft pates.

Rip.

Soft [pate]55—pretty hard I guess, or it would have been [fructured]56 long since and dat's a fact.

Dame.

And now, Alice, come with me that I may satisfy myself how you have disposed of the children, for in these matters you are just such a crawler as that vagrum there, [Is retiring.] that terrapin!

Rip.

Terrapin! Ah, dame, I leaves you to go the whole hog, but hark'ee, my lovey, before you go, won't you return de leetle bottle which you manage to get from me [last night]? 57

Dame.

Odds bodikins, and pins! A man already drunk, and asking for more liquor! You sha'n't have a drop, you sot, that you shall not. The bottle indeed! not you, eh! faith!

[Exit with Alice

Rip.

[Tunder]58 take me if I don't [think]59 but what she has [finished]60 it herself, and dat's de fact. My nose always sniffs like a terrier's; 'tis in de cupboard, her Hollands;—so, here goes to nibble.

Music.—Rip opens the closet door cautiously, and is rummaging for a bottle, when he treads on Knickerbocker, who roars out lustily. Rip, in his sudden alarm, upsets the [porcelain and glass];61 and, falling, rolls into the middle of the chamber, quaking in every limb, and vociferating loudly.

Rip.

Help! murder! fire! thieves!

Knickerbocker, [in the interim]62, darts out of the closet, and, [beyond the consciousness of future proceeding]63, throws himself into the arm-chair.—Alice, entering hastily, throws a cloak over him, which hides him from observation.—Dame enters, alarmed.

Dame.

Odds bodikins and pins! what's the matter, now?

Rip.

[Raising his head cautiously.] Matter, indeed! [the devil's]64 in the cupboard! Oh, la! I'll be swammed.

Dame.

In the cupboard!—[Going there, sees china broken; squalling.]—All my fine porcelain destroyed! monster! vile, rapacious monster! A devil, indeed, has been in the cupboard, and that's you. The china, presented to me by my grand relations, which I set such store on, smashed into a thousand pieces; 'tis too much for my weak nerves. I shall swoon! I shall faint! [She sinks in the arm-chair, but immediately starts up, and, squalling, falls into Rip's arms.—Knickerbocker regains the closet, unobserved by all, save Alice.

Dame.

Heaven have mercy on us! there was somebody in the chair! somebody in the chair!

Rip.

Phoo! there's nothing in de chair, save your old cloak, [Tossing it aside.] dat's all.

Dame.

I'm so alarmed—so agitated, that—Alice, put your hand into my pocket and you'll find a bottle. [Alice produces a bottle.

Rip.

[Aside.] A leetle bottle! Oh, dat's de [private]65 cupboard. Alice, let me hold de leetle bottle, whilst you fetch a glass for the old woman. [Alice, hastening off, brings a wine-glass, which Rip fills and gives to Dame.

Rip.

Here's your [go-to-hell],66 and your family's and may you live long and [prosper]67. [Drinks from the bottle; Alice, in the interim, proceeds to the closet and brings Knickerbocker out, who is making for the door, when, hearing some one approach, he again escapes to his retreat.

Alice.

[At door.] Oh, aunt! aunt! here's the burgomaster coming up the garden.

Dame.

Odds bodikins and pins! the burgomaster! what's to be done now? Coming for the rent! What's to be done now, I say?

Rip.

I'll go to bed and [think]68.

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