I have yet to describe the ladies—perhaps I should have commenced with them—I must excuse myself upon the principle of reserving the best to the last. All puppet-showmen do so: and what is this but the first scene in my puppet-show?

We will describe them according to seniority. That tall, thin, cross-looking lady of forty-five is a spinster, and sister to Lord B—. She has been persuaded, very much against her will, to come on board; but her notions of propriety would not permit her niece to embark under the protection of only her father. She is frightened at everything: if a rope is thrown down on the deck, up she starts, and cries, “Oh!” if on the deck, she thinks the water is rushing in below; if down below, and there is a noise, she is convinced there is danger; and if it be perfectly still, she is sure there is something wrong. She fidgets herself and everybody, and is quite a nuisance with her pride and ill-humour; but she has strict notions of propriety, and sacrifices herself as a martyr. She is the Hon. Miss Ossulton.

The lady who, when she smiles, shows so many dimples in her pretty oval face, is a young widow of the name of Lascelles. She married an old man to please her father and mother, which was very dutiful on her part. She was rewarded by finding herself a widow with a large fortune. Having married the first time to please her parents, she intends now to marry to please herself; but she is very young, and is in no hurry.

That young lady with such a sweet expression of countenance is the Hon. Miss Cecilia Ossulton. She is lively, witty, and has no fear in her composition; but she is very young yet, not more than seventeen—and nobody knows what she really is—she does not know herself. These are the parties who meet in the cabin of the yacht. The crew consist of ten fine seamen, the steward and the cook. There is also Lord B—’s valet, Mr Ossulton’s gentleman, and the lady’s-maid of Miss Ossulton. There not being accommodation for them, the other servants have been left on shore.

The yacht is now under way, and her sails are all set. She is running between Drake’s Island and the main. Dinner has been announced. As the reader has learnt something about the preparations, I leave him to judge whether it be not very pleasant to sit down to dinner in a yacht. The air has given everybody an appetite; and it was not until the cloth was removed that the conversation became general.

“Mr Seagrove,” said his lordship, “you very nearly lost your passage; I expected you last Thursday.”

“I am sorry, my lord, that business prevented my sooner attending to your lordship’s kind summons.”

“Come, Seagrove, don’t be nonsensical,” said Hautaine; “you told me yourself, the other evening, when you were talkative, that you had never had a brief in your life.”

“And a very fortunate circumstance,” replied Seagrove; “for if I had had a brief I should not have known what to have done with it. It is not my fault; I am fit for nothing but a commissioner. But still I had business, and very important business, too. I was summoned by Ponsonby to go with him to Tattersall’s, to give my opinion about a horse he wishes to purchase, and then to attend him to Forest Wild to plead his cause with his uncle.”

“It appears, then, that you were retained,” replied Lord B—; “may I ask you whether your friend gained his cause?”

“No, my lord, he lost his cause, but he gained a suit.”

“Expound your riddle, sir,” said Cecilia Ossulton.

“The fact is, that old Ponsonby is very anxious that William should marry Miss Percival, whose estates join on to Forest Wild. Now, my friend William is about as fond of marriage as I am of law, and thereby issue was joined.”

“But why were you to be called in?” inquired Mrs Lascelles.

“Because, madam, as Ponsonby never buys a horse without consulting me—”

“I cannot see the analogy, sir,” observed Miss Ossulton, senior, bridling up.

“Pardon me, madam: the fact is,” continued Seagrove, “that, as I always have to back Ponsonby’s horses, he thought it right that, in this instance, I should back him; he required special pleading, but his uncle tried him for the capital offence, and he was not allowed counsel. As soon as we arrived, and I had bowed myself into the room, Mr Ponsonby bowed me out again—which would have been infinitely more jarring to my feelings, had not the door been left a-jar.”

“Do anything but pun, Seagrove,” interrupted Hautaine.

“Well, then, I will take a glass of wine.”

“Do so,” said his lordship; “but recollect the whole company are impatient for your story.”

“I can assure you, my lord, that it was equal to any scene in a comedy.”

Now be it observed that Mr Seagrove had a great deal of comic talent; he was an excellent mimic, and could alter his voice almost as he pleased. It was a custom of his to act a scene as between other people, and he performed it remarkably well. Whenever he said that anything he was going to narrate was “as good as a comedy,” it was generally understood by those who were acquainted with him that he was to be asked so to do. Cecilia Ossulton therefore immediately said, “Pray act it, Mr Seagrove.”

Upon which, Mr Seagrove—premising that he had not only heard, but also seen all that passed—changing his voice, and suiting the action to the word, commenced.

“It may,” said he, “be called:—

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