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The Booming of Acre Hill, and Other Reminiscences of Urban and Suburban Life
Автор John Bangs12+
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Дата написания1970-01-01
Язык книгиen
Возрастное ограничение12+
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Страница 2 из 41"Why not send for Jocular Jimson Jones?" suggested the head and leading spirit of the Improvement Company. "We can offer him one of our cottages, and pay his debts if he has any, if he will live here and give us the benefit of his social prestige."
The suggestion was received with enthusiasm. Mr. Jones was summoned, came and inspected the cottage, and declined. He really couldn't, you know. Of course he was down, but not quite down to the level of a cottage of that particular kind. He still had plenty of friends whom he could visit and who would be charmed to entertain him in the style to which he was accustomed. Why, therefore, should he do this thing, and bring himself down to the level of the ordinary commuter? No, indeed. Not he! The Directors saw the point, and next offered him—and this time he accepted—the free use of the residence of one of the officers of the company, a really handsome, pretentious structure, with a commanding view, stable, green-houses, graceful lawns, and all other appurtenances of a well-appointed country seat. In addition to the furnishing of the house in proper taste, they put coal in the cellar and fly-screens in the windows. They filled the residence with servants, and indorsed the young person at the grocer's and butcher's. They bought him a surrey and a depot wagon. They bought him horses and they stocked him well with fine cigars. They paid his tailor's bills, and sundry other pressing monetary affairs were funded. In fact, the Acre Hill Land Improvement Company set Jocular Jimson Jones up and then gave him carte blanche to entertain; and inasmuch as Jocular had a genius for entertaining, it is hardly necessary to say that he availed himself of his opportunity.
During that first summer at Acre Hill Mr. Jones had the best time of his life. His days were what the vulgar term "all velvet." His new residence was so superb that it restored his credit in the metropolis, and city "swells," to whom he was under social obligation, went home, after having been paid in kind, wondering if Jocular Jimson Jones had unearthed somewhere a recently deceased rich uncle. He gave suppers of most lavish sort. He had vaudeville shows at the club-house, with talent made up of the most exclusive young men and women of the city. The Amateur Thespians of the Borough of Manhattan gave a whole series of performances at the club during the autumn, and by slow degrees the society papers began to take notice. Acre Hill began to be known as "a favorite resort of the 400." Nay, even the sacred 150 had penetrated to its very core, wonderingly, however, for none knew how Jocular Jimson Jones could do it. Still, they never declined an invitation. As a natural result the market for Acre Hill lots grew active. The sixteen cottages were sold, and the purchasers found themselves right in the swim. It was the easiest thing in the world to get into society if you only knew how. Jocular Jimson Jones was a fine, approachable, neighborly person, and at the Country Club dances was quite as attentive to the hitherto unknown Mrs. Scraggs as he was to Mrs. John Jacob Wintergreen, the acknowledged leader of the 400. Mrs. Wintergreen, too, was not unapproachable. She talked pleasantly during a musicale at the club-house with Mr. Scraggs, and said she hoped some day to have the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Scraggs; and when Scraggs, in response, said he would go and get her she most amiably begged him not to leave her alone.
Months went by, and where sixteen empty houses had been, there were now sixty all occupied, and lots were going like hot cakes. Tuxedo was in the shade. Lenox was dying. Newport was dead. Society flocked to Acre Hill and hobnobbed with Acre Hillians. Acre Hillians became somewhat proud of themselves, and rather took to looking down upon Dumfries Corners people. Dumfries Corners people were nice, and all that, but not particularly interesting in the sense that "our set," with Jocular Jimson Jones at the head of it, was interesting.
Then came the County Ball. This Jocular engineered himself, and the names of the lady patrons were selected from the oldest and the newest on the list. Mrs. Wintergreen's name led, of course, but Mrs. Scraggs' name was there too, sandwiched in between those of Mrs. Van Cortlandtuyvel and Mrs. Gardenior, of Gardenior's Island, representing two families which would carry social weight either in Boston or the "other side of Market Street." There were four exalted names from the city, one from Dumfries Corners, and seven from Acre Hill.
Then more lots sold, and still more, and then, alas, came the end! Jocular Jimson Jones was too successful.
After two years of glory the social light of Acre Hill went out. The Acre Hill Land Improvement Company retired from the business. All its lots were sold, and, of course, there was no further need for the services of Jocular Jimson Jones. His efforts were crowned with success. His mission was accomplished, but he moved away—I think regretfully, for, after all, he had found the Acre Hill people a most likable lot—but it was inevitable that, there being no more fish to catch, the anglers needed no bait, and Jocular Jimson had to go. Where he has gone to there is no one who knows. He has disappeared wholly, even in the metropolis, and, most unfortunately for Acre Hill, with Jocular Jimson Jones have departed also all its social glories. None of the elect come to its dances any more. The amateur thespians of the exclusive set no longer play on the stage of its club-house, and it was only last week that Mrs. John Jacob Wintergreen passed Mr. Scraggs on the street with a cold glare of unrecognition.
Possibly when Acre Hill reads this it will understand, possibly not.
Dumfries Corners people understood it right along, but then they always were a most suspicious lot, and fond of an amusing spectacle that cost them nothing.
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They bought him a surrey and a depot wagon. They bought him horses and they stocked him well with fine cigars. They paid his tailor's bills, and sundry other pressing monetary affairs were funded. In fact, the Acre Hill Land Improvement Company set Jocular Jimson Jones up and then gave him carte blanche to entertain; and inasmuch as Jocular had a genius for entertaining, it is hardly necessary to say that he availed himself of his opportunity."},{"id":"content0:14","kind":"paragraph","text":"During that first summer at Acre Hill Mr. Jones had the best time of his life. His days were what the vulgar term \"all velvet.\" His new residence was so superb that it restored his credit in the metropolis, and city \"swells,\" to whom he was under social obligation, went home, after having been paid in kind, wondering if Jocular Jimson Jones had unearthed somewhere a recently deceased rich uncle. He gave suppers of most lavish sort. He had vaudeville shows at the club-house, with talent made up of the most exclusive young men and women of the city. The Amateur Thespians of the Borough of Manhattan gave a whole series of performances at the club during the autumn, and by slow degrees the society papers began to take notice. Acre Hill began to be known as \"a favorite resort of the 400.\" Nay, even the sacred 150 had penetrated to its very core, wonderingly, however, for none knew how Jocular Jimson Jones could do it. Still, they never declined an invitation. As a natural result the market for Acre Hill lots grew active. The sixteen cottages were sold, and the purchasers found themselves right in the swim. It was the easiest thing in the world to get into society if you only knew how. Jocular Jimson Jones was a fine, approachable, neighborly person, and at the Country Club dances was quite as attentive to the hitherto unknown Mrs. Scraggs as he was to Mrs. John Jacob Wintergreen, the acknowledged leader of the 400. Mrs. Wintergreen, too, was not unapproachable. She talked pleasantly during a musicale at the club-house with Mr. Scraggs, and said she hoped some day to have the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Scraggs; and when Scraggs, in response, said he would go and get her she most amiably begged him not to leave her alone."},{"id":"content0:15","kind":"paragraph","text":"Months went by, and where sixteen empty houses had been, there were now sixty all occupied, and lots were going like hot cakes. Tuxedo was in the shade. Lenox was dying. Newport was dead. Society flocked to Acre Hill and hobnobbed with Acre Hillians. Acre Hillians became somewhat proud of themselves, and rather took to looking down upon Dumfries Corners people. Dumfries Corners people were nice, and all that, but not particularly interesting in the sense that \"our set,\" with Jocular Jimson Jones at the head of it, was interesting."},{"id":"content0:16","kind":"paragraph","text":"Then came the County Ball. This Jocular engineered himself, and the names of the lady patrons were selected from the oldest and the newest on the list. Mrs. Wintergreen's name led, of course, but Mrs. Scraggs' name was there too, sandwiched in between those of Mrs. Van Cortlandtuyvel and Mrs. Gardenior, of Gardenior's Island, representing two families which would carry social weight either in Boston or the \"other side of Market Street.\" There were four exalted names from the city, one from Dumfries Corners, and seven from Acre Hill."},{"id":"content0:17","kind":"paragraph","text":"Then more lots sold, and still more, and then, alas, came the end! Jocular Jimson Jones was too successful."},{"id":"content0:18","kind":"paragraph","text":"After two years of glory the social light of Acre Hill went out. The Acre Hill Land Improvement Company retired from the business. All its lots were sold, and, of course, there was no further need for the services of Jocular Jimson Jones. His efforts were crowned with success. His mission was accomplished, but he moved away—I think regretfully, for, after all, he had found the Acre Hill people a most likable lot—but it was inevitable that, there being no more fish to catch, the anglers needed no bait, and Jocular Jimson had to go. Where he has gone to there is no one who knows. He has disappeared wholly, even in the metropolis, and, most unfortunately for Acre Hill, with Jocular Jimson Jones have departed also all its social glories. None of the elect come to its dances any more. The amateur thespians of the exclusive set no longer play on the stage of its club-house, and it was only last week that Mrs. John Jacob Wintergreen passed Mr. Scraggs on the street with a cold glare of unrecognition."},{"id":"content0:19","kind":"paragraph","text":"Possibly when Acre Hill reads this it will understand, possibly not."},{"id":"content0:20","kind":"paragraph","text":"Dumfries Corners people understood it right along, but then they always were a most suspicious lot, and fond of an amusing spectacle that cost them nothing."}],"toc":[{"id":"content0:0:1","label":"John Kendrick Bangs The Booming of Acre Hill, and Other Reminiscences of Urban and Suburban Life","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T#reader-content"},{"id":"content0:1:1","label":"THE BOOMING OF ACRE HILL","page":1,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T#reader-content"},{"id":"content1:0:3","label":"THE STRANGE MISADVENTURES OF AN ORGAN","page":3,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=3#reader-content"},{"id":"content2:0:5","label":"THE PLOT THAT FAILED","page":5,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=5#reader-content"},{"id":"content3:0:7","label":"I","page":7,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=7#reader-content"},{"id":"content3:4:7","label":"II","page":7,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=7#reader-content"},{"id":"content4:0:8","label":"THE BASE INGRATITUDE OF BARKIS, M.D","page":8,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=8#reader-content"},{"id":"content5:0:10","label":"THE UTILITARIAN MR. CARRAWAY","page":10,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=10#reader-content"},{"id":"content6:0:13","label":"THE BOOK SALES OF MR. PETERS","page":13,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=13#reader-content"},{"id":"content7:0:15","label":"THE VALOR OF BRINLEY","page":15,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=15#reader-content"},{"id":"content8:0:17","label":"WILKINS","page":17,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=17#reader-content"},{"id":"content9:0:19","label":"THE MAYOR'S LAMPS","page":19,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=19#reader-content"},{"id":"content10:0:23","label":"THE BALANCE OF POWER","page":23,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=23#reader-content"},{"id":"content11:0:27","label":"JARLEY'S EXPERIMENT","page":27,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=27#reader-content"},{"id":"content12:0:30","label":"JARLEY'S THANKSGIVING","page":30,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=30#reader-content"},{"id":"content13:0:33","label":"HARRY AND MAUDE AND I—ALSO JAMES","page":33,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=33#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:0:34","label":"AN AFFINITIVE ROMANCE","page":34,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=34#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:1:34","label":"I MR. AUGUSTUS RICHARDS'S IDEAL","page":34,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=34#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:6:34","label":"II MISS HENDERSON'S STANDARD","page":34,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=34#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:16:35","label":"III A GLANCE AT MISS FLORA HENDERSON HERSELF","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:20:35","label":"IV A BRIEF GLIMPSE OF MR. AUGUSTUS RICHARDS","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:22:35","label":"V CONCLUSION","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:25:35","label":"MRS. UPTON'S DEVICE","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:26:35","label":"A Tale of Match-Making","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content14:27:35","label":"I THE RESOLVE","page":35,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=35#reader-content"},{"id":"content15:0:37","label":"II A SUCCESSFUL CASE","page":37,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=37#reader-content"},{"id":"content15:45:38","label":"III A SET-BACK","page":38,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=38#reader-content"},{"id":"content16:0:40","label":"IV THE DEVICE","page":40,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=40#reader-content"},{"id":"content16:40:41","label":"THE END","page":41,"pageUrl":"/books/3hKMUi0T?page=41#reader-content"}]},"similarBooks":[{"idCatalog":787516,"shortId":"038AHbna","title":"Человек-зверь","authorLine":"Эмиль Золя, В. 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